


Green

by honey_mustard



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Aphrodisiacs, Blood, Depression, Drunkenness, Everyone is older, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Kokichi is sad help the poor boy, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, One-Sided Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Party, Self-Harm, Sex, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tags May Change, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, rantaro is sorta a dick, shuichi just wants to help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:58:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_mustard/pseuds/honey_mustard
Summary: How great it feels to love someone you can never get.And by great I mean the worst possible feeling anyone could ever have.This was what Kokichi was feeling.(This is a no killing game story! Everyone graduated college and is living on their own. All characters are of age)





	1. A day in the life of Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi felt as if he was in a world of black and white. The gentle breeze urging him to take one step forward and end it all. The faint tugs at his heart telling him to step back- return to sanity. Alas, Kokichi chucked... since when has he ever been sane?

He picked up one foot from the ledge, dangling it over the four story fall to the ground. He slowly leaned forward, raising both of his arms as if he were a bird, before finally jumping.

-

—

?? days earlier:

—

-

Kokichi was crying.

“What do you _mean_  you don’t have any large cups?! How will do you expect through my day without a size large!” Kokichi yelled as he threw a hand over his forehead over-dramatically.

The purple haired boy was causing a scene at a local Starbucks, with him his childhood friend and crush Rantaro Amami.

“Kokichi just get a medium! Those chocolate frappuccinos have enough sugar in them as it is.” Rantaro tried convincing Kokichi through the crocodile tears, but sighed as he knew what the boy really wanted.

“... I’ll pay for you.”

“Oh wow! My beloved Rantaro paying for me~ a dream come true!” The shorter boy swooned as Rantaro paid- paying no attention to Kokichi.

The cashier handed them their drinks, the hot black coffee Rantaro ordered contrasting the cool chocolate frap for Kokichi.

“Babe~ lets go outside!”

“Babe?”

“It was only a joke- jeez lighten up you avacado.”

Kokichi grabbed his drink from Rantaro’s hand and rushed outside into the cold fall night, quickly sitting down and waiting for Rantaro to catch up.

Kokichi felt his heart beat faster than normal when he saw Rantaro waking over. He wore a blue jacket with a brown scarf covering his neck, his sparkling silver ear piercings, and to top it off- black jeans that really showed of the curve of his ass.

Kokichi internally blushed as he looked down at his own clothes. A white jacket paired with his signature black and white checkered scarf. He had also painted his nails black. _I look disgusting_  he thought to himself.

Rantaro finally sat down with a small smile on his lips, one Kokichi gladly returned.

One of the things Kokichi was good at was hiding his true emotions. For example- how he was falling hard for the green haired boy in-front of him. Sometimes, if he felt like it, Kokichi would hint at the fact.

“Oh, how wonderful it feels to be on a date with my beloved Rantaro! If I’m lucky enough I might just be invited to his house afterwards, Nishishi~” Kokichi wiggled one eyebrow at the other boy suggestively, but secretly watched his reaction as well.

“Kokichi, you know we can’t...”

Kokichi immediately understood what he was implying. It was the truth that always shattered his heart to pieces. Kokichi was openly gay, everyone knew, but Rantaro had a complicated case. His closely knitted family of fourteen, made up of twelve younger sisters and his parents, were all homophobic bastards. Because of this, Rantaro would forever be secretly bi, and they would only ever be best friends. But yet again, Kokichi doesn’t find it normal to have kinky fantasies about your best friend whenever you look at them.

“That was a lie. You should know this by now~” Kokichi flashed him a fake smile before taking a long sip from his drink. He couldn’t help but notice Rantaro staring at his lips- but decided to not say anything for the taller boy’s sake.

“You seen nervous, is something wrong?” Kokichi questioned, and a small blush appeared on Rantaro’s cheeks.

“I met someone the other day...”

Kokichi felt his head burning. His mind repeating words like a broken record,  _what? How? Why? Why why why wh-_

“Oh my God! Give me all the details!”

-

—

20 minutes later:

—

-

Kokichi was currently crying silent tears as he drove back to his shitty condo.

Kaede Akamatsu was her name. The girl who managed to steal Rantaro’s heart in less than a month. Kokichi has been trying for years.

Kokichi decided to blame himself in the matter. It was his own fault for falling for a boy that he knew he would never get. And now it was too late to get over him. And now he was heartbroken.

Maybe Kokichi was just too stubborn to accept the truth. Maybe he was scared of rejection. Either way- it probably would have felt better that what he was feeling now.

Before he knew it, he had arrived. He lived on the third floor of a condo building along with his roommate Shuichi Saihara. Shuichi was an interesting person, he’s extremely shy yet creepily observant of others. Kokichi had heard him say he’s a detective working as a police consultant because of his uncle, but Shuichi refuses to give anymore details other than that.

Kokichi opened the door to the house to be greeted with the mouthwatering smell of chicken. He peeked around the corner of the hallway and into the kitchen to see Shuichi sautéing a pan of different vegetables, sauces, and the chicken he had been smelling. Shuichi turned to Kokichi when he heard the front door slam shut behind him.

“Ah, Kokichi! I was just finishing up, want to eat with me?” Shuichi asked before turning off the stove. Kokichi has nothing else to do, since he left Rantaro earlier than usual, so he agreed.

Shuichi set down a plate in front of Kokichi before sitting down behind his own plate. As they were eating in silence, Kokichi noticed Shuichi pulling something out of his pocket.

Kokichi realized it was that damn journal Shuichi kept with him at all times. Whenever they both did something together Shuichi would write something down. Kokichi had tried stealing the journal to see what it said, but failed every time because the detective keeps it on him at all times- even while he sleeps!

“Whatcha writing Saihara~?” Kokichi questioned before taking a bite of food. A blush crawled up Shuichi’s face as he responded with ‘nothing’. _Like always_. Maybe Kokichi should prod?

“It’s obviously not nothing, you’re writing something down! Nishishi~”

“Oh... I-it’s just... some c-case I’ve been working on...”

Kokichi internally chuckled at the obvious lie.

“What’s it about?”

“Uh, I- I can’t...”

“Oh! Maybe it’s about your undying love for me~?” To top it all off, Kokichi placed the fork on his tongue and slowly started licking off the sauce- all while staring directly into the blushing boy’s eyes.

“I d-don’t think I’m hungry anymore-!” Shuichi slammed his hands on the table as he stood up before running off to his room. Seconds later you could hear a click sound, signifying that he had locked himself in his own room.

Kokichi was satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooOOH boy, thank you for reading! This chapter is sorta boring, introductions and whatnot, but I promise things will start getting interesting and fucked up very soon.
> 
> If your willing to support my journey through writing this, leave your thoughts in the comments! Kudos are appreciated as well :)


	2. Lust and Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi (as innocent Shuichi would say it) ‘pleasures’ himself in the beginning of this chapter
> 
> I mean you guys should be fine with this because this book has a rape/non-con warning, but I’m just letting you all know!
> 
> ;)

Kokichi was blinded by lust.

He had went to bed after Shuichi had ran away from him yesterday, as expected after messing with him. However, Kokichi wasn’t expecting to have a wet dream of him pounding somebody into the mattress.

In a matter of minutes after waking up from the perverted dream, Kokichi was blushing a deep red across his body, stiff and uncomfortable in his boxers.

Kokichi rarely gets dreams like that, but when he does he can’t help but to go all out after he wakes up.

With a swift motion of his hands, his boxers were taken off and thrown to the side of the bed. He took a moment to stare at his erection before deciding to grab it with his hand, slowly pumping it up and down.

A wave of pleasure shot through his body at the touch, causing shivers to go down his spine. A small moan escaped his lips as he started moving faster, jerking his hips to maximize the pleasure.

Yet it was still not enough.

He stopped himself for a few moments to re-adjust his position on the bed, grabbing one of his extra pillows from the side. He placed the pillow underneath his dick, and eagerly thrust into it.

“Ah, fuck~”

Kokichi threw his head back from the pleasure as he repeatedly slammed himself into the crease of the pillow, grinding his hips as he did so. Drool dribbled down his chin, unable to keep it in, as he felt close.

“Fuck~ Rantaro-!”

And with that slip up of words, Kokichi came. White lines of cum landed on the pillow and mattress, and some even landed on his naked chest.

The purple haired boy was a panting mess, trying to catch his breath as he finally calmed himself down from the climax.

“Did I really just say Rantaro?” Kokichi groaned. His mind refused to believe the fact that it was impossible to be with him now that he had his own crush.

Kokichi felt disgusting.

Why couldn’t he just move on?

With a sigh, he moved the pillow out from under him and started to clean up the mess he had made.

 

Meanwhile Shuichi, who’s usually a deep sleeper, had woken up when he had somehow fallen off his bed. He looked over at the clock, which read 5:48 a.m., as he tried to remember his dream that so rudely made him fall. His thought process immediately stopped when he heard Kokichi _moan_.

“Ah, fuck~”

The moan was audible enough to hear through the thin walls of the condo, and Shuichi immediately slapped a hand over his blushing mouth from the embarrassment. _Why now_  Shuichi thought as his hand reached towards his journal. It was a small black leather journal given to him by his uncle, and he used it to observe people. Specifically the boy who he has a crush on, Kokichi.

Shuichi thought that with enough work he would be able to find out who the boy really was beneath all the lies. So far he hasn’t even gotten close, but this... uncomfortable encounter could be the first step big step to solving Kokichi, and maybe even getting closer to him.

Previous entries described Kokichi and his encounters together, like yesterday’s dinner, but today was the first time he was writing down something like _this_. He rubbed his tired eyes to see better before picking up a pen and writing.

 

**5:49 in the morning**

**Kokichi is pleasuring himself.**

**He didn’t seem to be acting too normal yesterday. He came home earlier than usual from what he said was his ‘date’ and he was more quiet than normal as well.**

**Possible breakup?**

 

“Fuck~ Rantaro-!”

Shuichi blushed harder as he underlined the possible breakup part. He also wrote down in the corner ‘Rantaro?’. For some reason, he felt like he had heard the name somewhere before, but could figure out where. He was sure it wasn’t Kokichi who talked about it, he kept his private life hidden from Shuichi so... who did he hear it from?

 

Kokichi walked into the bathroom, immediately greeted by his own disgusting reflection. He had put on a pair of boxers after cleaning up, but that was it. His purple hair was a mess and he had bags under his eyes that matched his royal purple eyes.

His gaze wandered to his skinny arms, which were littered with cuts that have healed. He had stopped about half a year ago, but maybe it was time to start again?

“Kokichi, are you in there?”

Shuichi’s unexpected voice made Kokichi jump, and the smaller boy’s heart immediately started pounding.

Internally swearing, Kokichi opened the door, quickly crossing his arms to hide the scars.

“You’re up early?” Kokichi asked before stepping out of the bathroom to face his roommate.

“I could say the same thing.”

The boys made awkward eye contact until Kokichi tried walking back to his room, but the hall was blocked by Shuichi. Fuck.

“Are you... okay?” Shuichi asked, taking a step forward toward the other boy.

“Of course I am, silly! Why wouldn’t I be?” Kokichi thought the simple lie could get Shuichi to move, but he didn’t budge. The shorter boy groaned underneath his breath.

“My friend is throwing a party later today at 9, I think you should come.” Shuichi asked, trying to get him to go so he could learn more about the lying boy.

“If I agree to go will you get out of the way?” Kokichi sighed, annoyed. He wasn’t a person who went to parties, usually choosing to stay home and scheme instead, but he also wasn’t going to deal with any shit this early in the morning. Shuichi nodded.

“Good. Great. I’ll go.”

Kokichi shoved past Shuichi, not in the mood to have small talk or lie right now. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and think. Relax. Anything to take his mind off the old habits he had reminded himself of.

Once locking the door behind him, Kokichi literally threw himself onto his bed. He could already feel his insecurities crawling into the back of his mind, plaguing him with anxiety and doubt. He shouldn’t have accepted to go, damn, _damn, DAMN!_

He couldn’t handle the pressure. Meeting new people. More people that would hate him. More people that would make fun of him. Bully him. This is why Rantaro was his only friend. Rantaro helped him. Everyone else brought him down.

Down.

Down into a world of despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I’m sorry this chapter is so bad and short, but next chapter I promise things start happening!
> 
> Second of all, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. I seriously wasn’t expecting anyone to read this fanfiction, especially not to give it kudos or comments either! You all have inspired me to write even more, so thank you :’D
> 
> Keep the comments coming, Nishishi~


	3. The party

Kokichi and Shuichi were both standing outside the two story house that was currently booming with music. The purple haired boy was wearing a black and white flannel with a white shirt underneath, his hair also tied into a ponytail. The other wore a white collared button-up and an undone black striped dress suit.

Kokichi hated himself for agreeing to this, so he decided to himself to not talk to anyone inside unless absolutely necessary. Before the two boys split up, Shuichi told Kokichi to text him when they’re ready to leave- since Shuichi was his ride. Kokichi silently nodded before they both headed inside.

The loud music made Kokichi want to tear his ears off. Everyone was cramped into the room he had just entered, the living room, dancing and drinking. He immediately wanted to leave, but one turn to his side and Shuichi was already gone from sight. Great.

Kokichi thought it was the best option to squeeze through everyone dancing and get to the kitchen- where it would be more quiet _and_  he could horde all the snacks. It was a win-win!

A wave of “excuse me” and “pardon me”s left the boy as he fought through the crowd. He felt unbelievably uncomfortable with the amounts of numerous body parts touching his own, so much so that his walk through the crowd quickly turned into a sprint through the crowd.

With one last stride, Kokichi got out of the mass of people and turned a corner into the kitchen.

Not many people were in the kitchen, only around ten, but one person drinking a bottle of wine specifically caught his eye. The person lowered the bottle and happened to turn to Kokichi, eyes widening when seeing him.

“Kokichi Ouma-!” She let out a squeal, covering her mouth as her face turned red.

“Miu Iruma, so we meet again~!” He laughed as he walked over to the island of the kitchen where she was sitting.

He could do this. He knew her.

They had met each other in college when Kokichi had... _stumbled_ across her doing something and decided to use it as blackmail. To keep him shut, Miu made whatever Kokichi wanted. They were like that for a while but later became friends, usually making dirty jokes and drinking whenever they met.

And that’s what they were going to do right now. Kokichi snatched the red wine from Miu’s hands and sat down next to her.

“Miu, be kind and share~ I still have those videos of you ya know-“

“Shut the fuck up you little brat!” She raised a finger at him from anger, but chuckled as she saw the boy down the bottle of wine.

“You really don’t want to be here do you?”

“Hmm, my roommate dragged me here.” Kokichi said as he took a pause from his drink. Spread out in-front of them was various snacks such as pizza, chips, even a bowl of oddly colored punch.

“Don’t even think about it. I heard someone pissed in there.” Miu said when she saw him looking at the punch. Kokichi smiled at the opportunity and took it.

“That probably turned you on, didn’t it? Nishishi~”

Miu put her hands up and let out a moan, and Kokichi started laughing. It felt good to be with someone he knew other than Rantaro. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to move on from him?

Oh god he already felt drunk.

 

Shuichi had left Kokichi to go find Kaede, his best friend since elementary school. He wanted Kokichi to meet her, they could all have a conversation together- specifically for him to learn more about Kokichi.

Shuichi looked over the waves of people, trying to spot Kaede’s blonde hair through the crowd. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and slowly he made his way towards her.

“Kaede!” Shuichi yelled over the music, tapping the girl’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Ah, Shuichi!” Kaede smiled, but flinched from shock as someone grabbed her from behind.

“You’re not trying to steal my girlfriend, are you?” A tall, green haired boy with piercings asked from behind Kaede, and the girl visibly relaxed when she realized who it was.

“Wait what? Kaede, why didn’t you tell me!” Shuichi laughed, before explaining to the new face that they were just good friends.

“Ah, I see. My name is Rantaro Amami.” Rantaro smiled from relief.

Shuichi’s eyes widened.

It... it couldn’t be... was _this_ the person that Kokichi had...

_Ugh, I can’t think with this damn music!_

“...Can we go somewhere quieter.” Shuichi asked, deep in thought. Kaede looked a bit confused at the sudden suggestion, but agreed anyways. Everyone slowly followed Kaede through the crowd and into the kitchen.

 

Kokichi looked up when he heard the tapping of footsteps against the wood floorboards, slowly coming closer to them. A blonde girl with a magenta dress walked through the doorway.

“Who’s that?”

“You came to her party and you don’t even know? Wow, you really are a dim-wit! That’s Kaede Akamatsu.”

... that name sounded familiar. His mind felt cloudy from the wine, so he didn’t even bother to remember.

Except when he saw two very familiar boys come walking behind her. His roommate Shuichi and... _oh no,_

His heartbreaker Rantaro. Kokichi immediately froze in place.

Shuichi looked away from Kaede and turned towards the food, which was where both Kokichi and Miu were sitting. His eyes widened and he mouthed something along the lines of “oh shit” when he saw Kokichi. Shuichi stopped walking from the shock, he wasn’t expecting Kokichi to be here..!

“Kokichi, is that you?” Rantaro called out when he recognized him, his voice very questioning because one of the last places you would think to find Kokichi would be a party.

Kokichi was currently having a silent panic attack, he felt as if he opened his mouth nothing would come out. What would he say? What would happen tonight?

“... yeah! Hey Rantaro~” Kokichi placed the bottle of wine on the table and showed off a big, fake smile. Miu frowned, knowing that it was fake from experience.

The only way to get out of this situation was to lie, to Rantaro and himself. Thank god Kokichi was good at it.

“Wow, it’s surprising seeing you here. I guess now’s a good time to introduce you to my new girlfriend, Kaede Akamatsu.” Rantaro gestured towards Kaede, and she waved her hand as she said, “Hi!” With a smile.

Of course they had started dating a day after they went to the café.

She was so much better than Kokichi would ever be.

Just by her small greeting, you could tell she was optimistic, kind, funny, and just full of life in general. Kokichi was the complete opposite, an empty shell of a human that everyone hated- a lying bastard.

The thoughts started getting to the purple haired boy’s head. Tears started forming on his eyes, and that was the red flag saying that he needed to _get away_.

“I’m gonna go use the bathroom, be right back~!” He smiled before hopping off the stool, taking the bottle of wine with him and leaving quick enough so no one could question him.

Be right back? Yeah, _right_. Like he would actually go back. Kokichi was going to lock himself into a room and stay there until the party was over, then sneak out the window and Uber home. Simple plan.

He rushed up the stairs, greeted by a hall of doors. He eyed each one carefully before walking up to one, painted a maroon color.

“Let’s see what’s behind door number one.” He whispered to himself as he opened it.

By chance, it happened to be what looked like a guest room. He smiled, it was the luckiest thing that happened to him all night.

He stepped into the bare room, closing the door quickly behind him and locking it. The other side of the knob didn’t have a keyhole of any type, so no one would be able to open the door unless they used a battering ram. Finally Kokichi was safe from the party downstairs.

But he wasn’t safe from himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting~ <3


	4. Drunk and Alone

“Fuck Rantaro,” Kokichi spat.

He had finished the bottle of wine and was on the edge of blacking out.

He giggled to himself as he twirled the empty bottle in his hands, watching it shine.

Kokichi could hear Shuichi and Miu in the halls, calling out his name. It didn’t matter. It’s not like they could do anything about this situation.

The purple haired boy stood up from the ground, almost falling back down from the dizziness.

Fuck this.

_Fuck this._

He took one last look at the bottle before, with a smile, he slammed it to the ground. It shattered with a satisfying noise, pieces of glass flew around the floor. Kokichi started laughing.

He squatted to the ground, examining the pieces carefully, before picking up a fairly big shard.

Ah, perfect.

He clenched it in his right hand, the edges of glass digging into his palm- starting to draw blood.

It felt so good.

Relief, after so many years of suffering.

He needed more.

With his teeth, he bit his flannel sleeve and dragged it up his arm, exposing his ghostly pale skin. The old marks were still visible and Kokichi wondered, _why did he ever stop?_

Meanwhile, Shuichi’s bangs on the door could be heard- but Kokichi was too busy to pay any attention. He needed to do this.

His small giggles had turned into loud, maniacal laughter as he brought the glass to his skin.

The pain felt so good.

He carved and carved and carved into his arm, blood already leaking from his white skin.

Line after line, he drew. Tears started to spill over his eyelids, but he didn’t understand why. This was one of the best times in his life- why was he crying?

The laughter suddenly stopped as he realized he had covered his entire left arm in bleeding scars, the pale skin replaced with blood.

_Ah, that’s okay. I have another arm._

He switched the shard into his left hand, ready to continue before-

**BANG**

The loud noise made Kokichi turn his head to the source, the door. Shuichi stood in the frame, holding a crowbar. Behind him was a broken doorknob on the floor, indicating that he had actually broken in.

“Kokichi-!” Shuichi dropped the crowbar as he saw the other boy on the ground, covered in tears and blood and sitting on shattered glass.

Shuichi immediately ran to his aid, quickly taking the piece of glass from his hands.

“Holy shit, I’m so sorry-“ Shuichi started sniffling, tears about to fall, as he gently held the scarred and bloodied arm in his hands. It seemed that Shuichi knew what Kokichi was doing, as he had brought a roll of gauze with him.

Kokichi didn’t really understand what was happening, he only understood that someone was helping him. When he saw a tear roll down the other person’s blurry face, he pouted.

“Don’t cry because of me, silly. I’m the fuckup, not you.”

Shuichi stayed silent as he started to wrap the arm in the white bandage, trying to stifle his tears.

Kokichi tried studying the other’s face, slowly leaning towards him, but he just couldn’t tell who he was. All he saw was the shining tears rolling down their face from their pale, gold eyes- which were looking down at the bloody arm.

“Just LOOK at me, damn it!” Kokichi yelled, which finally grabbed the person’s attention.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, silent, before Kokichi acted.

He grabbed the other’s cheek, and leaned forward- connecting their lips. A muffled gasp of shock could be heard from the mystery person, but they didn’t fight it. They didn’t do anything. Kokichi continued.

He used his tongue, dancing with the other’s tongue as they moved closer together.

This was even better than pain...

What was it though?

The two separated, gasping for air. Kokichi wasn’t only breathless, but he also felt dizzy, his vision getting blurry and turning dark.

His last words before passing out was:

  
“Ah... you’re so hot...

Rantaro...”

 

Sirens.

  
Kokichi heard sirens in the distance.

  
They seemed so far away while in reality, he was right next to the source. He was in an ambulance.

He tried opening his eyes, but everything was so blurry that he couldn’t tell the difference between anything.

He closed his eyes in defeat.

It hurt so much.

Everything hurt.

 

Soon, the loud wailing of the sirens turned into a soft beeping noise.

Beep

Beep

Beep.

Like an alarm clock, telling him to wake up, but... different.

Slowly but surely, the boy began to pry open his eyes. The blinding fluorescent lights above his head made it hard, but his eyes were finally open.

He was in a hospital bed.

The first thing he noticed was the sleeping Shuichi, who had his head next to Kokichi’s leg as he sat in the bedside chair, lightly snoring.

He was also holding Kokichi’s hand, the one that wasn’t cut and bleeding.

A small blush crept up his face as he retracted his hand carefully from the other, but then the harsh feeling of guilt came.

How long has he been here? What time was it?What happened last night?!

He tried and tried to re-gather his memories, but the farthest he got to was when he was cutting himself.

  
Another thing that bothered him-

Where was Rantaro?

Every time Kokichi had ended up in the hospital, which was quite often compared to others, he had always woken up to the green headed boy. He had always comforted Kokichi, made him feel okay again, so where was he?

He must have not known, right?

Kokichi felt a panic attack coming.

A small tear rolled down his pale cheek as his breaths became shakier and shakier. His heart beat faster, despite all attempts to calm down.

Reality was hitting him like a truck.

He looked at the IV attached to his arm, more specifically at the blood. Blood. _BLOOD-_

Tears were falling down like waterfalls by now.

_Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it-_

“Hey,” a gentle hand met his cheek, slowly wiping away the tears with his thumb.

Kokichi hadn’t even realized that the other boy had waken up.

“It’s okay, Kokichi. You’re okay. Everything is fine,” Shuichi cooed as he wiped away more tears.

Kokichi couldn’t hold back. He grabbed Shuichi and pulled him into a tight hug, even if he was limited by the wires and tubes attached to him.

Shuichi hugged back with no hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys liked this chapter! I based Kokichi’s panic attack at the hospital with my own experiences so I hope it was realistic enough :P
> 
> Also, the support on this book is INSANE! Over 100 kudos already, and so many nice comments, thank you all~


	5. Questions

They had been sitting in silence for a while now. Kokichi had calmed down, so now they were just holding hands. Every once in a while Kokichi would squeeze his hand and Shuichi would squeeze back in reassurance.

The Nurse has come in and told Kokichi everything he needed to know. She discharged him, but also told him to take as much time as he needed before leaving.

Kokichi had also managed to partly remember what had happened that night. He... he had kissed someone. He couldn’t remember who, when, or why- it was all a blur, the only thing he could remember was that he called out Rantaro’s name... it must have been him- right?

Kokichi’s relationship with the green haired boy only became worse and worse.

Breaking the silence, Kokichi spoke up.

“Thank you... for everything. I’m really sorry for the trouble,” He looked up from legs and made eye contact with Shuichi.

“N-not to be rude but... where’s Rantaro?” Shuichi visibly frowned.

“Do you want the truth?”

Kokichi tilted his head in confusion. What..?

He slowly nodded.

With a sigh, Shuichi spoke.

“He saw me carrying you out to the ambulance. He asked what had happened, but that was it. He didn’t even try coming along.”

Kokichi felt his heart drop. He... he hadn’t done anything? Did that also mean that he had kissed someone else?

Seeing Kokichi’s distress, Shuichi tried making the situation better.

“But your friend- Miu, I think? She helped me find the crowbar and gauze. She tried to come with, but there was only room for one extra person in the ambulance. She told me to go.”

It did help, even if it was only by a little bit. Miu may be a crazy bitch, but she was also a good person by heart.

Kokichi sighed, trying to take his mind off the anger he had towards his so called best friend. He squeezed Shuichi’s hand as he felt tears coming.

Shuichi scooted closer to comfort the boy, softly cooing to him again.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay-“

“Did I kiss you?”

Kokichi blurted out, making eye contact again. The more he looked into those golden eyes, the more he understood. _Those_  were the eyes that had tears coming out of them that night. Those were definitely it. The pale gold that matched the recovered memory perfectly.

Shuichi looked away.

“Oh my god, it _was_  you-“

“I’m sorry!” Shuichi yelled before retracting his hand. Kokichi furrowed his eyebrows in surprise.

“You... you were drunk! You kissed me so suddenly I didn’t know what to do- You thought I was Rantaro, for God’s sake!” Shuichi clenched his elbows, no tears were flowing but the pain was visible in his voice.

“Shuichi I- God I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! It isn’t your fault...”

Kokichi placed a hand on the taller boy’s back, but there was no response. He was going to explain how bad of a drunk he was, but Shuichi spoke up instead.

“We should leave...”

Kokichi looked towards the ground. He fucked up. He fucked up real hard.

They both stood up in silence before leaving the hospital room and heading to Shuichi’s car.

 

They had arrived at their apartment. Shuichi and Kokichi were both on the couch, the taller boy changing the bloody bandage on the other’s arm.

They both stayed quiet.

Kokichi felt like complete shit. He shouldn’t have ran away like that and gotten drunk. Of course this would have happened, of course he would have forcefully kissed one of the most innocent boys he had ever known. Kokichi didn’t even know if Shuichi was gay or not! He keeps so much to himself that it’s hard to tell. And then, Kokichi puts him through the trouble of bringing him to the hospital. In the end, the purple haired felt terrible.

Shuichi felt just as bad. He should have never forced Kokichi to go to the party like that. He also _yelled_  at him about kissing him- only a bit after he woke up in a _hospital bed!_ The truth is, Shuichi had actually _liked_  the kiss, but how would he tell the other boy that now- after he had gotten mad at him for it! He felt so horrible that he didn’t know what to say.

So he didn’t say anything.

  
After the bandage was replaced, both of the boys got up from the couch. They didn’t spare a glance at each other as they walked to their own rooms.

 

Barely making a sound, Kokichi sat on the edge of his bed. There were so many things going on that it was all so hard to process.

He was wearing his clothes that he went to the party with, which were now stained with blood. The hospital hadn’t given him a gown, so he was stuck with those. Carefully, he slipped off the flannel, then pulled the white shirt over his head. He kicked off his pants and fell into his bed, back touching the cool blankets.

The silence was peaceful for once, and Kokichi let himself relax. That is- until he heard a faint _ping_ noise come from next to him. His phone.

Carefully, Kokichi reached for his phone with his uninjured arm. The white screen turning on made him squint his eyes, but after a few seconds he had adjusted. He read the text notification on the lock screen.

 **Rantaro <3:** hey dude. I hope your feeling better. I’m sorry I couldn’t come but I didn’t want to leave Kaede alone. I hope you understand.

  
Of course.

Kokichi didn’t even bother replying back. Instead, his eyes wandered over the bright _block_  button on the screen. He gave into temptation and pressed the button with his thumb. He felt... happy.

He felt like he could take on the world. As if, he didn’t need Rantaro- for the first time in his life. Kokichi bet himself that any gay boy would be begging for him, so why should he try so hard to get somebody he knows will never be his?

Then Kokichi’s eyes lit up. Why not see if his theory was correct?

He shot up from his bed in excitement.

He could go to a gay bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo, what do you think’s gonna happen next? Leave a comment~!
> 
> And thank you for reading!


	6. Bad Decisions

Kokichi was ready.

His stomach was filled with butterflies from the uneasiness and excitement gained from doing this. It was his first time going to someplace like a gay bar, since he never really felt the need to because of his crush- that is until now.

He had put on his outfit, which he was proud of because it made him look _very_ sexy. He wore black skinny jeans with a white long sleeved crop top that barely covered his innie belly button. He chose to wear long sleeved for a reason. At his waist he wore a purple flannel, which complemented his purple hair that he had put into a ponytail.

He had also pulled out a makeup bag from his closet, which was covered in dust because of how little he used it. Makeup had always intrigued Kokichi, he knew how to use it, but he never had the time to play around with the various items. He used concealer to cover his blemishes, and had painted his nails black like usual. All he could think as he looked at himself in the mirror was that he looked _hot._

With a nod of confidence to himself, Kokichi exited his room and went into the hall. He could faintly hear Shuichi pacing back and forth in his room, which was good since Kokichi hadn’t planned on telling him that he was leaving anyways. Quietly, the purple haired boy tiptoed to the front door and left.

 

-

 

It was around eleven o clock p.m., also known as prime time to go to a bar- not too late and not too early.

He was in an Uber, going to the busier part of the city so he could enjoy his night out. The boy stared outside the window, leaning his chin on the heel of him palm as he wandered deep in his mind. The past couple of days had been hard to accept, so he spent this time to re-think and try to make sense out of everything.

The car suddenly stopped because of a red light and Kokichi jerked back into reality, literally. He replaced his elbow on the armrest as he looked outside through the slightly fogged up window, trying to go back into thought. But something caught his eye. Something so shocking he actually let out a gasp.

“Holy shit,”

He pulled out his phone as quick as he could so he could snap a photo before the lights turned green. He opened the camera app and took multiple photos of the scene, some zoomed in and some out. He didn’t know what to think. He was at a loss.

And then the lights turned green.

 

-

 

Kokichi had decided to deal with the photos another time, right now- _tonight_  was the night he would actually enjoy himself. He stood in the doorway of the gay bar, which was loud and crowded with many of his kind.

He mentally psyched himself up before walking over to the bar. Not many people were at the bar counter, instead sitting at tables with others, so Kokichi decided he would let others come to him. He walked over and pulled out a stool so he could sit. The bartender raised an eyebrow at the young-looking boy and asked for a ID, Kokichi silently cursed at himself for being so short as he gladly obliged.

While the bartender examined the card, Kokichi looked away from the bar. The building was pretty full- men were wandering around, talking, drinking, dancing, flirting- you name it. The purple haired boy then suddenly, and accidentally, made eye contact with someone, and Kokichi felt himself go red at the sight. They wore a green jacket with a white tank top underneath, and white hair that was messy yet tamed, like his own. Olive green eyes pierced his own purple ones, before they gave Kokichi a small smile.

He was _hot_.

Kokichi turned away because of the blush he felt on his face. The bartender gave him his ID back and told him to wait a minute so he could tend to another customer.

In that time, the mystery white haired boy had managed to make his way over to Kokichi.

“Hey,”

His voice was optimistic, yet slightly deep as well. It caught the other boy off guard because _wow he only seemed hotter now._

“H-hey,”

Kokichi mentally face-palmed.  _What are you doing? This is your chance, don’t mess it up!_  Kokichi gave himself a pep talk before the other boy giggled and sat down in the stool next to him.

“I haven’t seen as beautiful as you around here before, what’s your name?” The taller boy tilted his head slightly at the question, and Kokichi literally felt his heart burst because they seemed so _lovable_.

“Kokichi, it’s Kokichi,” he smiled, “what’s yours?”

“Ah, my name is Komaeda, but you can call me Ko,”

Both of the boys stared and smiled at eachother, not awkwardly but in a... comforting sort of way. The bartender returned shortly after and asked for their drinks.

“I’ll get a rum and coke,” Kokichi asked, keeping it simple. He wasn’t planning on getting too drunk.

“A dark n’ stormy,” Komaeda asked, and the bartender nodded, getting to work.

“So, What brings you here?” Komaeda asked, leaning his fist on his cheek. Kokichi contemplated if he should tell him the truth or not, but then decided that he should. It’s not like they’ll ever see each other after this night- or if he was lucky then next morning.

The shorter boy explained the gist of what happened, leaving out parts like the party and cutting, and Komaeda listened to it all.

“Ah, life’s been pretty shitty for you, hasn’t it? Don’t worry, your with me now~” Ko replied, smiling a bit too wide. Kokichi felt a shiver go down his spine.

_That looked fake... no... that was definitely a fake smile._

The purple haired boy gave out a nervous chuckle. He was probably just overlooking things, right?

Both of their drinks arrived, the bartender putting them both a bit too close to Komaeda.

“Ah, here,”

He grabbed the drink from the top and handed it over to Kokichi, which happily accepted it- thanking him afterwards.

“Before we talk more, let me excuse myself to go to the restroom,” Ko stood up, pushing the stool back, and waved Kokichi goodbye as he headed towards the bathroom.

_Huh, that’s weird, do people usually wave goodbye while going to the bathroom?_

Shrugging it off, Kokichi grabbed his drink and took a big sip, the coolness refreshing him instantly. The boy smiled to himself, the night was going pretty well.

 

-

 

Komaeda came back from the bathroom.

Kokichi felt like he was dying.

“Kokichi! Are you okay?” The taller one rushed over as soon as he saw the boy bent over on the stool, breathing heavy.

Kokichi couldn’t even manage to get words out of his mouth, a million thoughts running through his mind.

_Why is it so hot in here, I can’t feel my legs, my head is pounding, I need more air, I feel so sensitive, don’t touch me, stop it, stop it, stop it-_

He faintly remembered Ko picking up his limp body and a walk to a car, before he heard loud, maniacal laughter.

The last thing Kokichi saw before he passed out was the creepy smiling figure of Komaeda, looking directly into his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I’m doing my second best boy Komaeda dirty like this, but his personality fits the role :’))
> 
> Comment your thoughts on this chapter! What do you think will happen next, what did Kokichi take pictures of, how will Kokichi get out of this situation?
> 
> Thanks for reading~


	7. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.

Burning. The moment he woke up all he felt was a burning sensation on his skin.

Hands. The more he awoke, the more he realized what was happening.

He was naked. Pale, slender hands roamed over his chest, sliding over his sensitive nipples.

A small moan escaped his lips. _This... I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I’m normally not sensitive at all..!_

He silently cursed as he opened his eyes, only realizing that there was a blindfold on him. _shit_.

The hands on his chest started to pinch his nipples, which made Kokichi let out another moan- even though it sounded more like a whimper.

He tried sitting up to stop this mess, but only got choked as something tugged him back. A leash around his neck.

Then, he tried moving his arms, legs, anything- but they were all tied tightly together with rope.

_No no no no no no no-_

Kokichi yelped when the hands he felt had slapped his chest.

“Shhh, you got to stay quiet, Kokichi,”

“Let me- *ahh*- go you f-fuck!”

“Ah, bad boys need to be punished~”

“Wha-“

He was cut off when two fingers were jammed into his mouth, making him choke. He tried moving back to get the fingers away, but they only pushed further down into his throat- making him gag. He was panicking too much, he couldn’t breath as he felt tears slip out from underneath the blindfold.

_Gasp_

The fingers were removed from his mouth, and Kokichi tried his best to calm down as he panted for air, coughing. He felt a clean hand grasp his cheek in a comforting way, the tied up boy still trembling.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Kokichi. All you need to do is follow what I say,” the hand started sliding down his chest, “and you won’t be punished...”

A sob left his mouth when he felt Komaeda’s hand touch his dick, which was painfully erect for an unknown reason. Kokichi knew he as sure as hell wasn’t getting turned on by this himself... was he drugged?

Two strokes in on his dick and Kokichi was going mad. He started jerking his hips up as Ko brought his hand down to maximize the pleasure- even though he _didn’t want to._

“You’re practically begging for more...”

The hand left Kokichi’s length and he whimpered at the loss. _Maybe, just maybe if I do what he wants he won’t rape me?_ The hopeless thought entered the boy’s head, but it was the only thing he could do without getting... _punished_.

The small _pop_  of a cap could be heard off to his right, and Kokichi turned his head even though he couldn’t see.

_Was he..? Oh no, no no no-_

Kokichi started wiggling around on the bed in hopes of getting out of at least one of the bonds. He rubbed his face against his own shoulder in attempt to pull down the blindfold, but it was tied on too tight.

He started whimpering nonstop when he felt the bed shift, indicating that Komaeda was right where he wanted to be. Forcefully, Kokichi’s legs were pushed up to reveal his ass, and the tied boy immediately tried fighting back to bring his legs down, squirming.

“Ah, ah- stop..!”

Kokichi immediately got rid of the idea of being compliant as he started kicking with his legs, trying to knock Komaeda out. He was _not_  going to get raped, not today and not ever.

He finally ended up kicking Ko, pushing him off the edge of the bed. Kokichi sat up on the bed, careful to not reach the limit of the leash as he pushed himself up against the headboard. He needed to find the knot of the leash so he could untie it and get off of the bed.

The moment he found the place where the chain leash connected to the headboard, he felt two hands grab his legs, pulling him back down.

“Bad sluts... get... punished...”

This time, Kokichi was flipped over stomach down and pinned to the mattress by Komaeda. Kokichi struggled and screamed as he felt the rapist climb on top him, the dick placed against the crack of his ass.

The screams died out into loud sobs as the tip of the dick was placed against Kokichi’s rim, slowly pushing in.

Kokichi clenched his fists and cried. He buried his face into the mattress from disgust as he sobbed from the immense pain.

“Out- *sob* take it... out *sob*”

The more he begged, the more Ko pushed his dick into the other. Soon, the entire length was up and inside Kokichi. With no warning, Komaeda started laughing as he pulled his dick back out, only to ram it back in with full force.

Kokichi felt his walls tear inside of him, blood leaking out from the side as he was penetrated. Another hoarse scream left his mouth, still hanging onto the glimmer of hope that he would get out of here.

But he knew it was helpless.

The intense mixture of pleasure and pain was too much for the small boy to handle, and after a couple more times of being pounded from the back, he fainted.

-

By the time he had woken up, Komaeda was gone.

Kokichi slowly lifted his head from the mattress- still blindfolded, tied, and attached to a leash. His back and ass was covered in blood and cum, and his face was in tears as he started sobbing again.

Without the effects of the unknown aphrodisiac being gone, all he felt was pain. Unbearable pain.

“Ko..?” Kokichi called out in his raspy voice just to be sure he was alone. No reply.

_Maybe he’s just messing with me? What if he’s still here? What if he comes back? What if I get raped again? What if..._

Kokichi bit his lip. No. He was going to get out of here. He had to.

He had to tell Shuichi that he...

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt his wrists burning

“let’s get out of here first...” He spoke to try and encourage himself to get out.

He was still tied, so that meant that Komaeda doesn’t want him to escape. Which means he is going to come back.

He needs to be quick with his escape.

Kokichi started to wriggle his wrists around to see if he could slip them off, but no dice.

He used his idea from earlier in the night of rubbing the blindfold on his shoulder to see if he could slip it off. It took multiple tries, his face starting to rash, but with one more nudge of his shoulder the blindfold came off.

His vision was blurry from the tears, but he managed to focus on the room. It looked like an old, dirty motel room, and with a look to his left he saw a window- covered with a transparent cloth. He didn’t know where he was exactly, but he could see the neon sign of a coffee shop outside. It looked familiar...

He grimaced as he realized it was the coffee shop him and Rantaro used to go to all the time, except it was his first time seeing it durning early morning. By the color of the sky, Kokichi concluded it was around 5:00 am.

Cursing before looking down at himself, Kokichi was much more aware of the mix of cum and blood on his back and stomach. He gagged before continuing to sob quietly. He could see his tied feet, bruised around the ankles from the harsh rope, and probably the same thing for the hands behind his back.

Kokichi squinted as a bright light flashed in the corner of his eye. With a turn on his head, he saw his phone on the bedside table, buzzing violently.

The caller read Shuichi.

“Shit, shit, shit,”

Kokichi couldn’t move his hands to the phone, nor his head. The only thing left was his feet.

Pain sprouted from his ass as he shifted himself on the bed, moving his feet towards the screen to press the ‘accept call’ button. He moment he pressed it with his toe, voices erupted from the phone.

“Kokichi, oh my God! Where are you, I’ve been trying to reach you for hours! Are you okay-”

“Shuichi, please help me. I- I was kidnapped and I don’t know where I am. I can see the Starbucks on XXX street through the window. He’s going to come back. P- please *sob* please be quick,”

“Holy shit..! Stay on the call with me, I’m coming right now-“

“Shuichi I can’t- I don’t know where he his, he might hear you. Just... please hurry *hic*,”

“Kokichi wait-!”

And with a tap of the ‘end call’ button, the phone went silent. Kokichi felt guilt, but knew he couldn’t put Shuichi at risk. _Ko could do whatever he want with me if it means he won’t lay a finger on Shuichi._

This time, Kokichi started moving his feet to see if he could get them free. It was hard, but he could tell that with effort he could manage to get the rope off.

The bed had small posts on the bottom end, so he decided to throw his feet over the post. He silently prepared himself before yanking his legs towards himself, pulling the rope against his heel. He let out a hoarse scream as the rope ground into his red, bruised skin, but continued to pull anyways.

He let out a sigh of relief when he felt one loop of the rope slip off, freeing his left foot. With the help of the newly freed foot, he was able to get his right foot free too. Now all that was left was his hands and the leash.

But before he could do anything...

_click_

The sound of the door opening.

He froze in terror as he looked at the handle move.

The door creaked open, and he was met with a smiling Komaeda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... sorry sorry sorry. 
> 
> I’m a messed up person.
> 
> But hopefully you... liked it? In a way?
> 
> Also sorry for the small wait, I made the chapter longer than usual to make up for it so hopefully you guys aren’t too bothered about that. 
> 
> Share your thoughts?


	8. Saved

Komaeda started walking towards the helpless boy on the bed, spirals in his eyes and practically drooling.

“Looks like you’re awake, Kokichi~”

“Get away you freak-!”

Seeing Ko only made Kokichi more desperate in his escape. He started thrashing his legs around to stall while trying to free his hands, leash choking him slightly while doing so.

“You’ve broken out of my bonds... oh your hope to escape must be rapidly growing inside you~” Komaeda said, panting heavily. _Was he getting turned on by this?!_

Komaeda placed his hands on the mattress, getting ready to resume their night of horrors. Kokichi, however, refused to be ready.

“FUCK OFF-“

The abuser, obviously, did not fuck off. He continued to climb on top of Kokichi, carefully avoiding his attempts to kick him. Ko placed his hand on Kokichi’s bottom chin, lifting it up towards his face so they were staring at one another. Kokichi started backing away in disgust, turning his face to the side, but Komaeda only advanced.

“STOP IT, STOP IT-!”

Forcefully, Komaeda dug his nails into Kokichi’s cheek, causing the smaller boy to wince in pain. The moment Kokichi’s mouth opened, Komaeda attacked it with his own. Kokichi clenched his eyes shut as he tried to stop the kiss, but Komaeda’s tongue only slipped further into his mouth. It was messy, teeth were clacking together and drool slid down both of their chins.

Kokichi couldn’t take it anymore. He started crying again. His facade of acting brave didn’t work, he was still scared shitless of the person on top of him. He was pleading for it to be over soon over and over in his head.

  
Looks like his prayers were answered.

  
With a loud _thump_ , he felt the body on top of him go limp. In confusion, Kokichi opened his eyes. It took a few seconds, but when Komaeda fell away and onto the other side of the bed, he was met with his savior.

“Shuichi..?”

Kokichi was sobbing, voice breaking as he spoke. Shuichi stood there with a long wooden pole in his hand, shaking and crying at the sight of his crush.

“I- I can’t-“

“Shh... I’m here- it’s okay...”

He dropped the pole onto the floor and went to the boy on the bed, tears streaming down both of their faces. Shuichi came prepared, he pulled out a small pocket knife and cut off both the rope on his wrists and the leather leash, finally freeing the other boy. When the bonds were gone, they both hugged eachother.

They hugged eachother like they would never see one another again. They hugged eachother like their life depended on it.

They hugged eachother like they were in love.

Kokichi’s loud sobs and screams were slowly quieted down by Shuichi’s calm remarks. They both slowly pulled apart from each other, Shuichi’s heart breaking when he saw the damage done to Kokichi. Deep red marks, where the rope was tied, could be found almost anywhere on the smaller boy’s body. Neck, arms, wrists, legs, ankles, and even some handprints on his bare chest. Shuichi almost immediately took off his jacket and covered Kokichi’s skin. The purple haired boy sunk into the jacket, hugging himself tight as he was comforted by Shuichi’s smell.

When they were both ready, the taller boy stood up and took Kokichi’s hand in his. Kokichi understood that they should leave.

With a shakey breath, he threw his legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand up. He didn’t even last a second before falling down into Shuichi’s arms with a cry of pain.

“It’s okay... I got you...” he whispered as he helped Kokichi straighten up.

“I- I can’t do it...”

“That’s okay...” Shuichi comforted Kokichi before lifting the fragile boy up, piggyback style. Kokichi hung on loosely, so unbelievably tired and in pain that he couldn’t do anything.

“My... my p-phone...”

“I got it...”

Shuichi looked around until his eyes met the bedside table. Kokichi’s phone stood face up on the surface while his clothes were sprawled next to it. It looked like they were thrown there roughly. He let out a small shiver as he grabbed for the phone, putting it in the pocket of his jeans. Without another word, they both left the room and headed for Shuichi’s car.

-

They were driving home. It was an eerily quiet night, making the atmosphere very uncomfortable. When their building was in sight, Shuichi finally broke the silence.

“Do... do you want to call the police?”

It took a few moments for Kokichi to process the words. He shook his head no. Shuichi understood.

“Please... don’t tell anyone...” Kokichi spoke so quietly that Shuichi thought it was just in his head, but after realizing it wasn’t, he nodded his head.

“I won’t.”

...

“T-thank you...”

-

When they both stepped into their apartment, Kokichi using the support of Shuichi, Kokichi started crying silent tears. Shuichi started internally panicking, immediately leading Kokichi to the couch to sit down.

“Let me go get the first aid kit- I’ll be right back-“ right as Shuichi stood up, he felt small hands grab him by the wrist.

“No-!”

Kokichi looked up, tears streaming down his face and eyes filled with fright. The smaller boy was practically shivering from how scared he was of being left alone.

Shuichi felt tears sting his own eyes. The Kokichi he knew, happy and laidback, was torn away from him and degraded down to show his weaknesses. He couldn’t take it.

“I... I won’t leave. I won’t ever leave you Kokichi...”

Shuichi gently grabbed Kokichi’s hands in his own, and Kokichi’s quiet sobs slowly turned into audible ones. He fell forward from on the couch and into Shuichi’s arms, gripping him so tight that it felt as if he let go he would fall to his death. Shuichi hugged Kokichi, trying to keep the smaller boy from falling apart in his hands.

When they both calmed down, they stood in the middle of the living room, staring into each other’s eyes.

"Can... can I sleep in your room..?”

Kokichi asked, looking away shyly.

“O-of course- let me just bring out the futon-“

“No.”

Shuichi looked confusedly at the boy, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head.

“I- I mean sleep in the same bed...”

Shuichi felt his cheeks go red. _God I’m so stupid_.

“Yeah... we can do that...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this chapter is probably horrible I wrote it when I was super tired- I’ll fix the mistakes soon so please ignore them for now!
> 
> This chapter has a bit of fluff in it but next chapter will just be pure fluff probably? I’m trying to make up for the rape :’)
> 
> Tell me your thoughts in the comments! Give a kudos! I work hard to try and keep chapters consistent and reading comments gives me the most inspiration! Don’t be shy haha


	9. Talking

Kokichi started wiping his tears away on the couch, happy that Shuichi agreed to his offer. He didn’t think he could sleep alone after what happened. Kokichi fumbled with Shuichi’s hand before finally letting go, calming himself down enough to breathe.

“C-can you take me to the bathroom..?” Kokichi asked in his raspy voice, still unable to walk by himself. Shuichi had wiped off most of the sticky liquids when he had found him, but he still felt like he would be forever dirty- inside and out. Shuichi nodded and helped Kokichi up.

-

Shuichi slowly set Kokichi down on on the toilet, telling him that he could start his shower whenever he wanted and that he would bring PJs to him when he was done. Kokichi hesitantly nodded, feeling a shiver crawl up his spine at the thought of being left alone. _I can handle it... Shuichi will be outside if I need him..._

The taller boy gave Kokichi a sad smile before standing up.

“Please... call me if you need me,” he said before shutting the door.

Kokichi stared, eyes filled with fear at the ground. He could handle this, right?

He slowly grabbed the shower door handle, heaving himself off the toilet and onto his feet. He cursed under his breath with the immediate pain he felt in his ass, but he clenched his teeth and stood up. Once he steadied himself, he slowly, but cautiously, let go of the handle. He sighed a breath of relief, he was standing without any support.

He stared at himself in the mirror- frowning at his horrible appearance. Emotionlessly, he started to take off Shuichi’s deep navy blue jacket, which only revealed more horrors. His arms were littered in the scars from the night he got drunk, none of them healed yet. His skin bruised with deep red marks from the abuse and ropes from... Komaeda. His hair was incredibly messy and his butt still covered with some of who knows what.

Kokichi tore his eyes away from his haunting reflection. It was time to shower.

-

Shuichi couldn’t help but worry. Kokichi had gotten himself in so much trouble that it was hard not to worry anymore. Anything could go wrong, but Shuichi was prepared.

He wouldn’t let anyone hurt Kokichi...

Not anymore...

Shuichi sighed. He threw himself down on the couch, rubbing his eyes from how tired he was. It was around 7:30 am... he hadn’t slept all night, but he couldn’t go to bed, not with Kokichi like this. He shifted on the couch, and something poked his waist. In confusion, Shuichi pulled out Kokichi’s phone from his pocket, forgetting that it was there entirely.

A thought entered Shuichi’s head. He knew... he _knew_  it was a bad idea to do it, but he put his plan into action instead. He clicked the small button at the bottom of the screen and it turned to life, immediately asking for a passcode. Shuichi mischievously smirked, he had seen Kokichi put in his password countless times, but now was the time he would actually use it.

He entered the numbers 11037 into the phone. _What an odd combination of numbers..._  Shuichi wondered before he was brought to the home screen.

He swiped up on the screen to show the app history, and the only app there was the photo’s app. He took a deep breath before going into the app, promising that he would go through as little as possible- and that it was for Kokichi’s sake.

His mouth dropped open when he saw the most recent photos.

“Ka-Kaede?!”

He couldn’t stop himself from saying it. There she was, his childhood best friend, kissing a complete stranger. She was pinning them against a wall at what looked like an extremely fancy outdoor restaurant. The stranger’s face was covered by Kaede’s backside, so it was impossible to tell who it was, but it was 100% Kaede in that picture.

“But... she’s dating Rantaro-?”

Shuichi’s mind raced to put together the possibilities of what this could mean. It could be blackmail, a bribe, or even an attempt to...

_Thud_

Shuichi flinched when a loud sound echoed through the house, his heart starting to beat faster and faster every passing second.

“Kokichi... Kokichi!”

He stood up and ran to the bathroom, yelling his roommates name as he did so. No reply. He almost threw himself onto the door, struggling to get it open but only realizing that it was locked. Shuichi silently cursed before preparing himself, taking a step back, then ramming into the door.

Nothing.

He tried again.

The creaks of wood breaking could be heard.

One more time.

The door burst open.

“Kokichi-!”

Kokichi’s naked body was sprawled out on the tiled floor of the shower. The water was running over his skin, mixing with the blood from his arms. He had opened up his scars.

The thing that scared Shuichi the most was how the boy wasn’t moving.

“No... no no no no...”

He immediately kneeled down next to the limp body, grabbing his small, frail arms and pulling him up off the floor. With one quick movement, he sat Kokichi on the toilet, making sure he didn’t fall when he grabbed the med kit from the cupboard. Shuichi noticed that his own hands were shaking as he searched for the gauze.

_Gasp_

The taller boy immediately turned his head to Kokichi when he heard the soft gasp of air.

His eyes were clouded and lazy and his arms still bleeding, but he was breathing. Thank god for that.

“Kokichi, Kokichi please- are you okay?” Shuichi scrambled over to the boy’s side, holding his pale hands to comfort him. Kokichi couldn’t even bring himself to reply, too busy gasping for air to do so anyways. His only response was a small squeeze of his hands.

“I’ll- I’m going to call an ambulance-“

“No...” Kokichi whispered in attempt to stop him, and Shuichi hesitantly stopped.

“Kokichi, you’re in no condition to keep doing this to yourself. You need to go to the hospital, they can help you-“

“ _I said no!_  I’m not going to go- please Shuichi... I’m sorry... I’m sorry I won’t do it again...” Tears fell from Kokichi’s eyes as he regained consciousness, pleading with Shuichi by holding his hands tighter. Shuichi didn’t know what to say or do, so many choices running through his head but he didn’t know which ones were right and which ones were wrong.

“...at least let me patch you up...” with a small tug of his hands, Kokichi let go so that Shuichi could start wrapping his arms. Kokichi was a whimpering mess, repeating the words ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘please don’t bring me to the hospital’, and Shuichi replied every time with ‘its okay’ and ‘I won’t, don’t worry’.

After clipping shut the gauze around both of his arms, Shuichi turned off the shower and put away the med kit, all while holding Kokichi’s hand. With a small sigh, Shuichi helped Kokichi stand, arm on arm, before stopping.

“Please... please don’t cry, Kokichi. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, I promise...” The taller boy wiped away a trail of tears off of Kokichi with his thumb, gently holding the other’s cheek to comfort him. Kokichi looked away sniffling, trying his best to at least minimize his tears, and Shuichi gave him a sad smile at his effort.

Together, they both made their way to Shuichi’s room.

-

Shuichi went to Kokichi’s room and brought him some clothes, being quick as he did so to not leave the boy alone for too long. Boxers and a t-shirt. Kokichi was grateful for the clothes and gladly put them on while sitting on the edge of the bed. Shuichi made sure the other was comfortable, asked him if he needed anything at all, and Kokichi responded every time with a small ‘no’.

Glad that he could finally rest after pulling an all-nighter, Shuichi flipped the light switch off and headed towards his bed, making sure to give Kokichi plenty of space since he was sleeping on the side up against the wall. Lots of rustling was heard as Kokichi tried getting comfortable below the blanket, and Shuichi started getting concerned.

“Does it hurt..?”

“Ah, of course it hurts... I... can we talk for a bit?”

“Yeah, sure- what do you wanna talk about?”

Shuichi flipped over to his side so he could face Kokichi, and the other did the same.

“I was wondering something... did... did you look in my phone when I was showering?”

Shuichi’s eyes went wide.

“How did you-“

“You left it on in the living room, I saw the screen open...”

“Shit- I’m so sorry Kokichi I-“

“Don’t worry about it, please... I’m guessing you saw the photos?”

“Yeah... what were you going to do with those pictures of Kaede?”

“Hah, I wasn’t going to blackmail her if you were wondering... I was... I was going to send it to that pig, Rantaro, so that maybe, just maybe, I would be able to break his heart as much as he did to mine...”

A shaky breath from Kokichi was all he needed to start worrying.

“Kokichi, you don’t need to say anything you don’t want to-“

“No. I’m- I’m going to tell you everything... no more lies...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait? I’m having a major case of writers block but I promise to all of you amazing people reading this that I will definitely finish this fic and hopefully write even more fanfics!
> 
> Your comments really do help inspire me to write more, so keep commenting! The support on this book has been crazy so far and I’m so grateful for that, thank you <3


End file.
